Here's To You... Yes, YOU.

                                                                        --BEFORE*--


Here's to you sir, you know who you are.
Thank you for giving me everything.
Thank you for being so wonderful to me.
        For being my night in shining armor.
   I thought you were just, different, ya know?
But I was wrong.

Finally, thank you for breaking my heart...
and sending me on to bigger and better things.

I have places to go and people to see.
I have my dreams to live,
and I know now, that with you...
no matter how badly somedays I wish
it would have worked.
I know that it didn't.
I know that it can't.
I know that it wont.

Becuase with you...?
                        I'd never be able to live my dreams.

Thanks again.
We had a good run, didn't we?
                                          xoxo<3





Farmers Daughter..........Rodney Adkins

Perfect love............ .......AlphaRev

The Chain................ Ingrid Michealson

Here.........................Rascal Flatts

Bless the Broken Road...Rascal Flatts

I'm Still Here............Vertical Horizon

Goodbye From the Start....AlphaRev

Get to Me......................Train

Brick by Brick...............Train

Marry Me......................Train

Just to See You Smile.........Tim Mcgraw

Vanilla Twilight.................Owl City

Stay Close, Don't Go...........Secondhand Serenade

Brand New Day...................Joshua Radin

I Saw..........................Matt Nathanson

Love You 'Till the End..............The Pogues

Your Call........................Secondhand Serenade

Golden.......................Allred

Miss Me.....................Allred

All I Want is You....................Barry Louis Polisar

Sea of Love.............................Cat Power

I Never Told You.................Colbie Caillat

Life After You.....................Daughtry

I Can't Love You Back.............Easton Corbin

Living For the Night.................George Strait

Take You Back........................Graham Colton

First Week...............................Graham Colton

Hear You Me..........................Jimmy Eat World

Gimmie That Girl......................Joe Nichols

All We'd Ever Need......................Lady A

Good Morning Again.....................Midnight to Twelve

Sinkin Soon................................Norah Jones

All My Days.................................Alexi Murdoch

The Girl.....................................City and Colour

Better Days................................GooGoo Dolls

You and I Both............................Jason Mraz

Perfectly Lonely.........................John Mayer

So Long.......................Secondhand Serenade

Paperweight................................Joshua Radin

Kind of Anything..........................Sarah Bareilles

Kick Me When I'm High...................Sum 41

Boston.........................Augustana

You Lie...........................The Band Perry

Do I............................Luke Brian

Cowboy Cassanova..........................Carrie Underwood

Undo It....................................Carrie Underwood

Someday When I Stop Loving You.............Carrie Underwood

Almost Lover............................A Fine Frenzy

Happier ....................................A Fin Frenzy

--AFTER THE FALL OUT*--

--AND NOW*--

"GOOD RIDDANCE"

moving on and finding new hope for love in my best friend...

:)

xoxo nikki

Have You Ever...?

Have you ever been confused...? Just simply confused for no apparent reason...?

Have you ever closed your eyes and jumped into something you aren't so sure about?

Have you ever held on to something so tightly, you find that's the reason it got pushed away?

Have you ever dreamed of something crazy and out of the ordinary?

Have you ever forgotten about making yourself happy whilst trying to cater to the world?

Have you ever fallen in love?

Have you ever had your heart torn from your chest?

Have you ever danced in the rain, without a care in the world?

Have you ever sat in front of the fire place with your best friend and just talked?

Have you ever asked someone about their day and actually cared?

Have you ever gotten sick, and when you should be sleeping, you find yourself up all night long becuase for some unknown reason you're not tired at all?

Have you ever completed a homework assignment the day it was assigned?

Have you ever walked into a math class and felt an overwhelming happiness simply becuase you love math?

Have you ever flunked a test and smiled afterward?

Have you ever taken the time to take in the world that surrounds you as you rush to do the next thing on your to do list?

Have you ever wished for an endless night?

Have you ever missed someone so badly that your heart physically hurt?

Have you ever expierenced love at first sight?

Have you ever expierenced true love?

Have you ever eaten an entire betos breakfast burito?

Have you ever broken someones heart?

Have you ever saved a life?

Have you ever made a bucket list?

Have you ever tried something new to spice up your seemingly plain jane life?

Have you ever had a best friend, without whom you'd never be able to survive?

Have you ever wanted to tell someone that you love them so badly, that your heart starts racing, and once you get the courage to walk up to them, your mind completely blanks... and I love you doesn't come out?

Have you ever given money to a stranger?

Have you ever hugged every person you see?

Have you ever smiled at ever person you see? Simply becuase you love life and you're happy and you want the world to know it.

Have you ever made a mistake?

Have you ever wished on a star, a clock, an eyelash?

Have you ever complimented yourself, picking out the good rather than the bad?

It's funny how much we miss out on life becuase of a schedule, fear, emotions, and our own stupid self distruction. I think from now on, I'm going to build myself up ((as well as others)) rather than tear myself down. Seems like life will be a little bit easier that way..
                                                                           :)

xoxo nikki

Seemed fitting:]

Enjoy.

The VS* Play List.

The Pretty Reckless: Make Me Wanna Die

Kanye West: Stronger

Rihanna: California King Bed

Maroon 5: Moves Like Jagger

OneRepublic: Secrets

Nicki Minaj: Super Bass

Lady GaGa: Born This Way

Bahaha enjoy that!

xoxo nikki



Health Status

Alrighty here's the 411 on my health:

I'm deathly ill. Have been for about two weeks now.

My throat is on FIRE.

Both of my ears are INFECTED.

My stomach will not allow me to consume a single thing.


The "GOOD" news

I've lost about ten pounds since my sickness began.
[[As if I had ten pounds to lose...]]


bleh.
I'm going back to bed.

OH BUT DON'T WORRY!!!

I'll be back later
:)

xoxo nikki

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the YEAR

VS Fashion show, here I come!!

Possibly winning $10,000.00 TONIGHT?
                            

                  you bet.

Wish me luck! :]

Think I could be an Angel..? ;)

xoxo nikki

. . .Tis' The Season*. . .

Tis' the season.....
((and here's how I know))

Reasons that it SHOULDN'T be:

The chill in the air is still mild.
There's no snow in sight.
Not all the leaves have fallen off the tree outside my window.

This is why "Tis' the Season":

The only reason I truly know it's the season to be joly is because of my ADORABLE mother.

Literally.

I can always tell it's christmas time becuase I wake up

to the vocal stylings of VANESSA WILLIAMS

blasting out of the upstairs speakers as my mother sets up

the house for santa's arrival in just four short weeks.

xoxo nikki

:)

FIX ME!

It's times like this.. when I truly wish I had a fairy godmother who could wave her magic wand... say some catchy phrase.. and force this illness that decided to inhabit my body to the depths of destruction.

and I need some chai...


xoxo nikki

........

Ulcers in my throat...? You bet.

We All Love Her. She's Simply Wonderful. That's All There Is To It.

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.

I don't want to BE alone.

I want to be LEFT alone.

 Pick a day,

                              Enjoy it-To the hilt.

The day as it comes,

The people as they come,

the past, I think, has helped me appreciate

the present - and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future .

Paris is always a good idea.

"The blues are because you are getting fat or maybe it's been raining too long. You're just sad, that's all. The 'mean reds; are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid, and you don't even know what you're afraid of. Did you ever get that feeling? ... Well when I get it, the only thing that does any good is to jump into a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it. Nothing very bad can happen to you there."

"I never think of myself as an icon.

What is in other people's minds is not in my mind. I just do my thing."

"The greatest victory has been to be able to live with myself, to accept my shortcomings...I'm a long way from the human being I'd like to be. But I've decided I'm not so bad after all."

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others."

If I get married, I want to be very married.

And She's Addicted. You Can't Handle this Post.

Caffeine? Check. No calories? Check. Class? You betcha.

Chai is a cool word. I love saying it, because it reminds me of something really sweet and cozy.

[[Or whenever I say it, people mistake as a Tricycle because my favorite beverage from

Beans and Brews is a CHAISICLE, it never fails to absolutely crack me up!--which honestly isn't hard to do. haha]]

Before I tell you what, though, you should take a look at what Chai actually means:
1. It´s the Russian word for any type of tea.
2. It`s the name of a very specific and unusual type of drink from India. Chai.com describes said drink as "the perfect blend of freshly ground spices (chai masala) like cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cardamom and pepper, added to a boiling pot of loose leaf tea and milk to make a delicious, satisfying and healthy beverage."

My first encounter with my beloved "Christmas in a Cup", love of my life, heaven on earth, beautifuly brewed addiction...

By now there was a storm out the covered window by our table, and the waiter brought a low cup that steamed of spices. Beside it was a small metal pitcher of warm milk. I added the milk to the chai slowly and finally it was just hot enough to satisfy my tastebuds without injuring them, but I shouldn`t have waited; the peppery, gingery heat was just as strong as boiling water.
Chai is an unusual tea, and the good kind reminds me of spicy delicious CHRISTMAS IN A CUP. It`s a very adventurous one too, at least for me--if I was going to climb Everest, the first thing I`d throw in my bag would be chai masala because it warms you right up. Then, of course, a hot plate and soymilk--scratch that, WHOLE MILK ((go big or go home baby!)).
The point is, that night was a perfect example of what makes tea superior to coffee, Red Bull, whatever your elixir is currently--the smell, the taste, the warmth brings you back to something you like, whether it`s a day the thermometer let you off school, or that first love story you finished at a WiFi cafe. Everything else just gives you a jolt forward, which isn´t all bad, but there are times when you`re better off looking over your shoulder, smiling, and thinking something happy for about ten minutes. Those times are made for tea.

I believe not all addictions are bad... my addiction isn't a bad thing at all
                                          ;) Nope... it's GOOOOOD. I'll stick with my chai.
Go ahead, try some! You'll never go back...

AND.... turns out... you can put chai in almost ANYTHING. and obviously, it's DELICOUS!
                                                           the end. :]


xoxo Nikki

Dream BIG. as big as the ocean**

                            Dare to....

Man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has.

Lord, it takes a lonely one, to wish that she had

never dreamt at all...

So. What are your dreams??

{Tell me about them!!}

Here are a few of my own........

* Become a Dentist.         *Marry in the Temple.

*Change someones life.                      
                  
                            * Be an example of the believers.

*Make a difference.                              *uhhhhh....

*Go to the U.                           *WORLD PEACE!!!!

NOW, what are you going to do to

LIVE

your dreams..?

:)

good luck! you can do it.

[everyone need some good healthy encouragement every now and then right?]

*Carve Your Heart Out Yourself: Dashboard Confessional*

xoxo nikki

We Live and Learn :)

Don't miss out...

*be daring* have fun*be daring*have fun*be daring*have fun*be daring*have fun*don't be afraid..

I find it funny that I fear love. [[I'm sure a number of you do as well. You're not fooling me:)]] I've run from it on countless occasions, for the fear of falling ((and falling hard)) only to land flat on my face becuase prince charming hasn't found me yet. I find that my life has been colored by fear and insecurity. But why? Why do I let the world effect me so? Why do I let them tell me I'm not good enough? Because I am! I know that I am. So why not risk..? Why not be DIFFERENT?

I have a theory.  ((yes another one! deal with it:] ))
If you don't try, you'll never know. If you never know, you'll live your whole life wondering... wondering if you just let him slip by. Don't be afraid!

Take that chance! Live your life. What have you got to lose...?

take a leap into the unkown,             and you might realise how much you actually love it there.
                               the brisk chill of something new...


Now. Go out there. Give it your all. && never doubt yourself. and most of all? HAVE FUN! pinky promise?
                                                                                                                                                                               :)
xoxo nikki

Just wanted to say...

I LOVE LIFE.

i love....

*sunshine in my hair*

ps this man is attractive

*LAUGHING OUT LOUD*

*Sun Rises*

*My Baby*

((my longboard))

*VANS*

*Getting a Letter From a Missionary* <3<3

*Cuddling*

*UTAH UTES*

*My CUDDLE BUDDY*

SHARRRRROONNNNNN!!!!!

*My Best Friends*

*That One Boy*

(my prince charming)

NO PHOTO

AVAILABLE.

at least not yet..

there is this one boy.

but I don't want to jinx it

:]

someday your prince will come<3

[[mine just got lost, took a wrong turn.

and is to stuborn to ask for directions...]]

and of course....

*Sunflowers*

i love lots lots many, much, more, things.

trust me.

I'm just tired...

and I have tests to study for.

pssshh.

Good night all!

until next time...

:)

xoxo Nikki

PS. I forgot to mention, I got into USU and UVU so far in my college application JOURNEY. Still waiting on my letter from THE U.

CROSS YOUR FINGERS!! ((I hope I get in...)

i keep finding myself saying...

I think I can, I think I can...

hopefully it works!

I'll keep you posted.

Just promise to keep reading..?

thanks.

:)

Sunflowers are ALWAYS beautiful.

Work for a cause, not for applause.

Live life to express not to impress.

Don't strive to make your presence noticed,

just make your absense felt.

MAN. look at those and try not to smile.
dare you:]

                                   --One true love.--
                                     (( thus far...))

They never let me down

                 :)

Smile! pass it on:]

"I believe the world is as we choose to view it.

Simple as that.

Our happiness, is in the end,

up to us,

and to no one else"

-Susan Fletcher

How often I find myself silently cursing the clouds in the sky for hiding the sunshine from my face, or glaring at the people in the hallways at school. But for what reason.... exactly? What did they ever do to me?? The answer...?

I've stumbled on a few things on my vacation in the beautiful, sunny California...

The clouds provide a wonderful back drop or otherwise reason for comfy clothes, popcorn

side note:CHOCOLATE-did you know that chocolate is supposed to make you feel like you've fallen in love..? imagine that! who'da thought.. anywayss..

and a movie.----which leads to cuddling. [my favorite]

So now, when I enter my day that happens to be covered with clouds, I smile at them. and thank them for giving me the opportunity to cuddle. :]

 The answer:

NOTHING.

(crazyy i know.)

But it's true. They've done absolutely nothing wrong to me. They're living their lives, and trying to make it through just like me! The only difference is that I've made some choices... which you've already had the pleasure to hear about ((at least one of them)) and they've forced me to grow up. and FAST. So their immaturity annoys the heck out of me. so what? In all honesty, I envy them. They've been smart enough not to make stupid choices that force them to grow up. And so, they walk through the halls. They laugh, they smile, they mess around, they act childishly.

But isn't that what we're supposed to do..? 

I mean we're not adults yet, so why not live your life out loud?

" Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up. These are the best days of our lives..."

So here's my challenge to you. SMILE. Smile at your mailman, smile at your neighbor, smile at your teachers, heck! SMILE AT YOUR WORST ENEMY. I dare you.

Once you've done this, you realise how contageous smiles are.

Smiling can turn your whole day around. If you force yourself to smile when you're in a horid situation, you just might realise that it's not even a big deal.

I know I sound crazy. And who knows.. maybe I am.

((actually no. I am. Really.))

But I'm happy. :]:]

                                                ....Are you...?

So take my challenge. Smile. If not for yourself, do it for everyone around you. Your smile can change their day to! It's just crazy. CRAZY I tell you. But it works.

Try it out. Let me know how it goes:]:]

xoxo Nikki

Remember "YOU'RE NEVER FULLY DRESSED WITHOUT A SMILE!"

Love Like WILDFIRE

I absolutely love this song..

                              beautiful music

                     melts my heart every time.

                         I'm secretly a romantic....

                                                    [[....shhhhhhh don't tell]]

Now just take a step back.

Pretend the world doesn't exist any longer.

&&fallinlove. :]

There's a world outside
I could sleep all day
Before I change my mind
You'll be miles away

But I won't be long
Til I let you go

When the moon hangs high
Don't forget to walk away
Cause it won't be long
No it won't be long
Til I let you go

So I'll dream of wine
On a pill white day
It's your aching smile
That wont' let me get away

But it won't be long
No it won't be long
Til I let you go.

Sometimes the things you're most afraid of in life, are the things that are the most worth while.
                                                                                                        Just a theory<3

Color My Life With the Chaos of Trouble..

Sometimes life is just
                      hard to handle...
           difficult to take in..
                                         and then,
I smile.
           and say to myself...
 "it's all going to be alright.."
and ya know what??
it really is.
eventually...
eventually it's all going to work out.
[[but for now, color my life with the chaos of trouble]]

&&UNTIL THINGS START LOOKING UP..
slap a smile on your kisser, and someone just might
put a kiss on your smiler:]
xoxo nikki

open your mind..
believe that beautiful things still exist.

BACKWARDS BEIGHLEY

..footballgame..footballgame..footballgame..footballgame..footballgame..footballgame..footballgame..

D. BEIGHLEY----of the HOME team.

The kickoff.
    scramble.
    ball is caught.
    player runs.
    points are scored.

Fourth quater, the score was tied and there was two minutes left on the clock. The VISITOR team kicks the ball, the HOME team scrambles. A mass of red envolopes the area surounding Dale Beighley. Inside the mass of bodies, Dale found that he had caught the ball. Instantly his legs begin to push their way through the wave of bodies coming towards him. Running faster than lightening, the other team couldn't even touch him. Thirty seconds on the clock and D. Beighley runs the ball into the endzone.

"Easiest touchdown I've ever scored."

He goes wild, does a victory dance && screams out loud!

It was then that he realised the silence surrounding him..

He'd just scored the winning touchdown, and yet his team was still on the other side of the field,

not a soul was there to congragulate him.

The other team even had the audacity to laugh at him! It was becuse of him that

they'd just lost the game. and yet, they were laughing.

"They should be crying!" he thought.

And then his coach pointed angrily to the score board.

HOME:21 VISITOR: 27

He had run the ball right into the other teams endzone.

Cursed to be known as BACKWARDS BEIGHLEY until the end of time.

It was the easiest touchdown becuase the other team wasn't even chasing after him! He claims that he got all twisted around, turned upside down, and confused when he caught the ball, so he just ran as fast as he could to the end of the field. Unfortunatley for him, and his team, it was the wrong end.

OHHH JIM....

and thus end's the tale of BACKWARDS BEIGHLEY.

Oh I miss you Jim, thank you for being the best Grandpa anyone could ever wish to have.

I LOVE YOU.

xoxo Nikki



Growing up Nikki :]:]

One of my best friends passed away this last Friday, it was my Grandpa.. Life's been pretty tough, and I'm not all that sure the fact that he's gone forever has actually hit me yet. ((it will, don't you worry. when it does, you'll likely find me running.. not to any destination in particular, just running. and it's likely that I will not stop for a very long time. However, do not fret, it's just how I cope, you understand:] anyy whoooo....

I was rummaging through some old photos Jim ((my grandfather, who's real name is Dale. Don't ask, because we don't know how it happened. It just came about one day, and stuck like glue,"Jim" I mean)) actually took. I got quite a kick out of them, and I hope you enjoy them as well. Also, periodically throughout this post I've placed quotes from my Grandpa, he was a hoot and a half that man, as well as colored commentary by yours truly!

ENJOY

There are a few pictures thare are actually in my journal, that's why they look so silly:]:]

^^THE MANY FACES OF NIKKI^^

(you have to admit, I had a pretty nasty glare...)

BACKWARDS BEIGHLEY

(see later post for more information:])

 *HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY*

WARNING ****EMBARASSING PHOTO***WARNING

WARNING***EMBARASSING PHOTO***WARNING

AWW LOOK HOW CUTE I AM!

OH.. NEVERMIND.

SIDE NOTE: LOOK HOW BIG MY EYES WERE!

(is it sad that I'm jealous of myself...? )

BUBSEE....

my grandpa's nickname for me...

I was so embarassed by it.

((and now I don't even know why.. haha))

In every picture of my cousin Casey and Me I look thoroughly pissed off...

we're not sure why... haha this ^^^^^ is exhibit A.

Man: "You look like my sister"

Jim: *punch (man) in the face*

Man: *punch (Jim) even harder in the face*

Jim: *falls to the ground*

"I guess I do kind of look like your sister..."

hahahah grandpa:]

 

"I WAS THE BEST HOOKER AT GENEVA!"- Grandpa

These are pictures of my best friend Stephanie and Me.

Best friends since birth, literally!

She was born EXACTLY 15 days before me.

hah... alright alright... you can stop laughing now.

really.

it's not that funny...

MY MOM THINKS I'M PRETTY.

bahahaha...wow.. i'm getting really sidetracked here..

please continue on

that glare needs to be famous. nuff said.

 yes you are seeing that correctly,

the floatation device is in fact

PART OF MY SWIMMING SUIT!

genius. pure genius.

EXHIBIT B^^^

pissed off... again:]

ALL GROWN UP

"BEING GROWN UP IS ONLY  HALF AS FUN AS GROWING UP"

WELL YOU'VE REACHED THE END OF MY POST, WHICH WAS EXTREMELY POINTLESS.. AND WELL... YUP. THAT'S ABOUT IT.

THE END:]

ps. if you're wondering about "BACKWARDS BEIGHLEY"

read tomorrows post, I'll have pictures of

Ol' BACKWARDS himself.

don't miss out:]:]