I'm Taking a Journey of Self-Discovery

Song of the day: AS IT SEEMS: LILY KERSHAW

It really is quite beautiful.

I took a walk the other day with one of my best friends...

The world was split into two by the sky.

To my left the clouds were painted a beautiful color of gold by the setting sun. While to my right the storm raged on. The sky lit up with the flash of electricity as it cut through the sky, and the thunderous clap that followed as the air met together was earsplitting.

All of the rain splattered windows sparkled with the light as it slowly faded away.

Admittedly, this is my favorite time of day.
The sun is setting and everything in the world is lit with a golden light.
Everything is peaceful. Everything is BEAUTIFUL.

As we walked, we talked about me.
                             I hate talking about me because I have a lot more problems then I'd like to admit. I like being STRONG. I like to appear as strong as they come, while inside, I'm silently screaming for someone to come along and save me.

It was during this walk, the sky split in two, that I realized the only person who can save me is myself.

Puddles splashed beneath our feet as we breathed in the fresh, crisp air that was slowly beginning to change to the cool Fall days ahead of us.
     
             I love Fall. It's my favorite season of all. The air is so fresh. The temperature is perfect.. not too hot, and not yet too cold. Creamy hot chocolate, camp fires, cuddling, and movies make up every picture I have in my memory of Fall in the past.
            I think that if you were to start a relationship with someone, Fall would be the best time to do it. There's something calming about the whole thing. There's something fresh and new in the air as the seasons roll on, there seems, to me, to be something promising in it all.

I'm terrible with relationships. You know this. I know this, and poor Bobby knows this better than anyone, and do you want to know what he said to me?

"Nik, you have got to spend some time with YOURSELF. You need to figure yourself out, you've gotta love yourself before you're ever going to be able to fully love someone else. Nik, you have to be selfish for once, you have to be selfish before you can be selfless."

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

So here I go.
I have NO idea what I'm doing.
I have NO idea what to expect.

           and yet, there's something beautiful in that.
                             (Not knowing what's going to happen.)

With my heart pounding and my mind spinning... I step into the world.
I embark on a journey of self discovery. 

**GUYS. YOU SHOULD JOIN ME. GO ON YOUR OWN JOURNEY. SPEND TIME WITH YOURSELF. MAYBE YOU'LL FIND OUT THINGS YOU NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT YOURSELF. MAYBE YOU'LL LEARN TO TRULY LOVE YOURSELF. MAYBE YOU'LL PULL YOURSELF OUT OF THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING IT'S LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE ABOUT LIFE, LOOKS, LOVE... ALL OF IT. RE-DISCOVER EVERYTHING FOR YOURSELF. Now, doesn't that sound exciting? I think so.**

I may get lost somewhere along the way, but don't worry, I'll find my way eventually.
I'll travel the world. I'll do everything that makes me happy. I'll do everything I've wanted to do, but never had the guts to do.
If you don't hear from me for a while, don't worry. It's because I'm taking my friends advise. I'm spending time with myself. I'm learning to love myself... and then maybe one day I can fall in love with someone else... just maybe.

Unfortunately, I am a college student, and for the time being, I'm married to my homework.. So for now, you can find me in my cozy little corner at the local coffee shop.

I can relate nearly everything to Mumford and Sons, and this song happens to be one of my favorites. It's so incredible, and it's so fitting.

AFTER THE STROM:

xoxo nikki